When I first came to college, I was shown an image on Facebook regarding “the college experience.” It was a checklist with three boxes: good grades, social life and sleep. The heading read, “College students- pick two.”
For a college student, I’m probably way too involved for my own good (or my own sanity). The last three weeks have felt like a whirlwind. I no longer track days by what time it is, but by what class, meeting and/or event I am going to. All my days start at 8 a.m. and end when I finally pass out from having too much shit to do.
Essentially, I have two lives here in college: my sorority life and my journalism life. If I’m not at a restaurant or in the STAR lab, then I’m at a sisterhood event, meeting or mixer (and vice-versa).
Yet as much as I would like to be Superwoman and be able to do everything, there’s not an option or an app for that. . . sorry, bad joke.
But in all seriousness, the last few weeks have made something blatantly clear to me: these two lives I lead do not mesh well together.
I’ve gotten some crap from my beloved STAR people about being in a sorority (though it’s all in good fun. . . I think) and my sisters just stare blankly and smile when I tell them that I’m copy editing articles, having issues with InDesign or doing layout on Sundays before chapter meeting.
And in between explaining sorority life and why I am in a Greek organization to my friends on the newspaper and having my more involved sisters being a little more wary about what they say around me, the question I’ve been dreading to ask myself can’t be ignored any longer.
What do you do when you realize that the places and people where your loyalties lie conflict with one another?
As a Greek woman, my first obligation is to my sisters and my fellow Greeks. As a journalist, my first obligation is to the truth. For some reason, these obligations cannot work together and I’m feeling, more and more every day, that it’s one or the other.
Sisters are forever, but (in theory) so is a passion and an eventual career.
At times, I’ve tried to imagine what each would say if I told them that I was leaving the newspaper/sorority for the sorority/newspaper- as if the answer I am looking for is to stay with the more forgiving and supportive organization. Unfortunately, that epiphany hasn’t come to me yet and I’m not expecting it to anytime in the very near future.
Yes, I know I am leaving this entry open-ended. However, my head and- this is going to sound so cheesy- my heart hurt too much to think about it much more.
I know what I would say.
ReplyDeleteIt's a learning lab. We can all see your passion for the Greek community, and I, for one, admire it. This post is absolutely heartfelt. I have a sneaking suspicion that what we're all really learning in college is not the contents of the classes, but how to balance all the different parts of our lives. I know you'll figure out a balance that works for you.
ReplyDeletebalance is a virtue. there's a trade off with everything therefore assess each situation individually.
ReplyDeleteThis is a great post Becca. It's deep, despite the open-endedness of it. I feel as if I were inside of your head listening to this monologue going back and forth, but what I like most about it is that I leave knowing you better. And that I'm glad you're in the newspaper.
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed this post. I feel as I am in your shoes trying to make the decision. I can totally understand what your saying about picking between one. I like your tone of voice.
ReplyDelete